Sunday 7 September 2008

Magic, Mystery, Murder & Mayhem - Part 2

The West Country of England has long been associated with myths and legends. From The Beast Of Bodmin Moor to the Devil's Footprints, tales of folklore have ensured that this wild and rugged part of the kingdom remain shrouded in magic and intrigue.
Until now!
So let's sweep aside the curtain of mystery and have a closer look at some of the magical stories that the West Country has to offer as we look at Part 2 of an occasional series. This week our journey through space and time brings us......

The Legend Of Giant Bolster

I’m going to have to quote from a website about this one:

“Giants loom large in the folklore of Cornwall, and legend tells us that once upon a time the Penwrith area was plagued with them. Giant Bolster must have been a truly enormous figure, since he could plant one foot on Carn Brea (the high hill just outside Camborne) and the other on the cliffs outside St. Agnes - some six miles away - he must have been about 12 miles high.”

Hold up there homes. Are you stoned? 12 miles high? I think you're the one who's 12 miles high! Bunch of chuckleheads. Knowing the Cornish he was probably just an unusually tall man which at the time meant he was about 6”2. Idiots.
But wait – it gets better.

“Bolster was a bad tempered and violent brute who terrorised the countryside and struck fear into the hearts of ordinary folk, but he met his match in the pious and chaste St. Agnes. He fell in love with her and pursued her relentlessly, but St. Agnes wanted none of it. Sick of his constant attentions, St. Agnes told him to prove his love for her by filling up a hole in the cliff at Chapel Porth with his own blood. To Bolster that was an easy task. After all, he'd never miss a few gallons - but St. Agnes knew that the hole was bottomless and led into the sea below. He stretched out his arm, plunged a knife into it and lay down to wait for the hole to fill up. It never did of course and eventually Bolster lost so much blood he died. Thus, St. Agnes was rid of his unwanted attentions but he left his mark behind. The cliffs at Chapel Porth to this day still bear a red stain, said to be from where his blood ran down into the sea.”

Way to go Agnes, that's a nice style you've got there. You couldn’t write him a letter? Change your mobile phone number? Stay with friends for a while. Go on holiday. Just tell the poor schlub, we’ve all had to do it. Sure he’ll hurt for a while but his heart will mend eventually.

Not any more it won't. YOU JUST KILLED HIM YOU CRAZY BITCH!

It’s nice to see that even in ancient myth and legend women are still all nutters!
Also, is he wearing Converse Allstars?
BB

0 comments:

Stats