Wednesday, 10 September 2008

Some Further Thanks

Just a quick addition... and yes the big chill review is on it's way, promise!!
Big thanks to Tracy (Me Bro's Missus) for getting us the seedlings, seeds and seeders. Without these we would literally have had nothing.
To me Bro for enabling the transfer (god i talk some shit) of the above to me to then get them in the ground. Again this is extremely important as any allotmenteer will know..... without seeds you aint got nowt.

Sunday, 7 September 2008

Magic, Mystery, Murder & Mayhem - Part 2

The West Country of England has long been associated with myths and legends. From The Beast Of Bodmin Moor to the Devil's Footprints, tales of folklore have ensured that this wild and rugged part of the kingdom remain shrouded in magic and intrigue.
Until now!
So let's sweep aside the curtain of mystery and have a closer look at some of the magical stories that the West Country has to offer as we look at Part 2 of an occasional series. This week our journey through space and time brings us......

The Legend Of Giant Bolster

I’m going to have to quote from a website about this one:

“Giants loom large in the folklore of Cornwall, and legend tells us that once upon a time the Penwrith area was plagued with them. Giant Bolster must have been a truly enormous figure, since he could plant one foot on Carn Brea (the high hill just outside Camborne) and the other on the cliffs outside St. Agnes - some six miles away - he must have been about 12 miles high.”

Hold up there homes. Are you stoned? 12 miles high? I think you're the one who's 12 miles high! Bunch of chuckleheads. Knowing the Cornish he was probably just an unusually tall man which at the time meant he was about 6”2. Idiots.
But wait – it gets better.

“Bolster was a bad tempered and violent brute who terrorised the countryside and struck fear into the hearts of ordinary folk, but he met his match in the pious and chaste St. Agnes. He fell in love with her and pursued her relentlessly, but St. Agnes wanted none of it. Sick of his constant attentions, St. Agnes told him to prove his love for her by filling up a hole in the cliff at Chapel Porth with his own blood. To Bolster that was an easy task. After all, he'd never miss a few gallons - but St. Agnes knew that the hole was bottomless and led into the sea below. He stretched out his arm, plunged a knife into it and lay down to wait for the hole to fill up. It never did of course and eventually Bolster lost so much blood he died. Thus, St. Agnes was rid of his unwanted attentions but he left his mark behind. The cliffs at Chapel Porth to this day still bear a red stain, said to be from where his blood ran down into the sea.”

Way to go Agnes, that's a nice style you've got there. You couldn’t write him a letter? Change your mobile phone number? Stay with friends for a while. Go on holiday. Just tell the poor schlub, we’ve all had to do it. Sure he’ll hurt for a while but his heart will mend eventually.


It’s nice to see that even in ancient myth and legend women are still all nutters!
Also, is he wearing Converse Allstars?

Saturday, 6 September 2008

I'd Like To Thank My Mom, My Agent, My Cleaner, My Bus Driver.....

When we first took on the plot we just figured it would be a nice bit of a project to give us some free food and that. But the honkjazz allotment has become a massive part of our lives and it represents a whole lot more than just a veg' plot. It arrived at a really important time in my life when I was at a bit of a low and the walls of my flat seemed to be the only sight I'd see of a weekend. So to have a scratch of land to chomble about on has become so vital to me, I can't describe it. But I'll try. Heh.
When you lose love you tend to grab hold of anything that can fill the void that you feel. For me it seemed to be shopping. I bought trainers, antique furniture, graphic novels - anything that might stop me feeling down for a while. And of course none of it worked. I still felt down - just a bit more broke is all.
So to have a piece of earth that I could put all of my heart into became a massively important thing in my life. Its provided a place for me to sit and think and smoke and drink and survey the growing things that we've put in the ground.
We've had some stellar times up on the plot, radio burbling, beers on the go, smokes a plenty. Sometimes I just go to the plot and sit, thinking about the series of events that have led me to this place. Its a good place.

Anyway, I'm rambling. I meant to post a big ol' thank you to all of the people that have helped us make this plot what it is. So a massive honkjazz big up to...

Ian - Thank you for all of the timber, sand and tools. And the burning bin was very cool as well.
Gavin & Lisa - thank you for helping us dig over the first two beds, laying the pathway (top work G-Spot!) and for generally being ace.
Rebecca - Thank you for standing in the rain helping me to hoik out carrots and spuds and onions. Star!
Gentle Ben - Thank you for the timber and especially the little fencing that we've used around the raspberry bed.
Harry & Sue - Thank you for the massive amounts of pig poo that have helped our vegetables grow so strong. And also for the paving slabs that helped make our Useless Patio!
Poppa - Thank you my love for the swede plants, the rosemary bush, the advice, the love and the support. My endless thanks are for you. x
Jute & Lex - For turning me onto purple broccoli. Goddamn! that's good sh*t. Much love.
My agent.
My manager.
Our fans - couldn't have done it without you.
Phil - My brother in the folly.

So thank you all. We love you so much and hope to be eating lovely foods with you at the nearest opportunity.


Well you may have been super worried about us and the lack of updates on the state of the plot. I wouldn't blame you. It is a tumultuous soap opera at the best of times. Heh.
The blog has been ignored about as much as the allotment to be honest with you. And not for want of trying but more for want of some decent f*cking weather! Seriously its been wet and miserable havoc down these parts. We've just not been able to get to the site for a decent session (whatever way you want to read that ;-) for ages now.
Anyway, stuff has been going on. I promise.
So a few weeks ago I managed to get to the site with my friend Rebecca and we lifted the first batch of carrots, some spuds and the last of the onions. And it was good.

Here you can see the carrots that we hoiked out. Lovely innit? These are the carrots that we didn't sow properly. We didn't thin them out for fear of inciting the dreaded carrot fly so we figured we'd just leave them be and see what the honkjazz ethos (put it in the ground and see what shape it comes out) would produce. And it produced a mad crazy bunch of twisted carrots, allwonky and knarly. Still, tasted bl**dy marvellous!
So we washed spuds and carrots and dried out the last of the onions and everything was great and good.
The issue that we faced was what to do with the empty beds. Yeah, that ones still unsolved and at the moment we have five beds sat waiting. All they need is a good weeding and they're ready to rock but as I said the weather is just too sh*t to get down there at the moment - its doing my flipping head in!
Anyway, over the last few weeks we've been popping down there to pinch the odd bag of runner beans (which are doing very well thank you) but its always been in the rain so no actual work can get done.
I did get down the plot after work for a couple of hours last week to try and cut back the manic weeds which are quickly taking over but after two hours of solid chopping I'd barely made a dent! Damn them all to hell! Today I did manage to get down there to hoik the last of the spuds out (in the lashing rain!) but couldn't get any housework done. Its doing my head in as well because it deserves to be taken care of but we just can't do it. Oh well. It'll happen when it happens.
We need to get our thumbs out and figure out what we can plant now because we've got five beds empty and thats just wrong! Wrong! Wrong! So thats the mission for the next three weeks - weed the living daylights out of the empty beds, remove all traces of spuds (just in case they had some blight) and get some winter crops in (any suggestions would be more than welcomed). Otherwise, the runner beans are doing great, the broccolis are over-run with weeds but well healthy, the swedes are strong (although a part of my brain doubts that they're actually swedes at all and I'll be posting some pictures as soon as I've weeded the beds - I couldn't stand the shame of showing you them as they are now) and the raspberry plants seem okay just doing their own thing. The pepper plants are strong and thats about the lot for the plot. It just needs a good old seeing to and as soon as the weather permits I'll be right on it.
I promise.
Heres the vegetable basket tonight.